Overcoming my 6th fear
by divergenteaton
Summary: Placed a few months after Allegiant, Tris and Tobias lead a new life in Chicago, exploring their emotional and sexual desires through their relationship. Tris struggles to get over her fear of intimacy, and luckily she has Tobias to support her all through her journey. Lynn, Uriah, Marlene and Will are alive but Al died.
1. Chapter 1

_Tris POV_

The soft morning sunlight casts a golden glow across our bedroom when I first open my eyes. Tobias's arms are still wrapped around my waist and I don't bother to move them. Instead, I press my body closer to his, letting his warmth seep into my body. I breathe in his scent, masculine, of wind, sweat and soap, and it is this smell that makes me feel instantly safe, protected.

I almost fall asleep again, but I decide I want to be awake to see Tobias wake up. _God, I fall in love with him more each day _I think to myself, smiling. I want to love him, but then I remember the difficulties our relationship is facing-how he teases me constantly-that's been going on for weeks. Moments after, Tobias' eyes open, and he smiles when he sees that I'm staring at him

"Good morning," he says roughly. Tobias tightens his grip around my waist and pulls me towards him. Leaving one arm around my waist, he runs his fingers across my cheekbone, and then through my hair. He lightly kisses me, and I respond with an intense kiss back. I run my hand down his back, wanting more and more of him.

I start to pull at the hem of his shirt, but Tobias pulls back, letting go of me "Time to get up!" he says and I huff, crossing my arms. Lately he's been teasing me a lot, giving me affection and then not allowing _me _continue. Tobias gets in the shower, and then I do. I change into a black t shirt and jeans, and grab some cereal for breakfast.

"I'm guessing Christina will want to get your ready for the date or whatever?" Tobias asks stepping into the kitchen and grabbing a bowl of cereal. I nod, "Yeah, so I guess I won't see you until six, at the restaurant." I finish off my breakfast and glance at the watch _11:38 _! Christina told me to meet her at 12, so that we could have plenty of time to get ready for the party.

"I have to get going," I tell Tobias and grab my party clothes and shoes. I don't bother to kiss him goodbye, knowing that he'll tease me a bit before allowing me to do anything.

Just as I'm about to open the door to leave, I feel someone lift me up into the air and I let out a scream "Tobias!" I snap. He picks me up into his arms and is about to kiss me when I stop him "Tobias, I can't go on like this. _You _get to kiss me all you want, but whenever _I _try to give you affection you just back away! You've become very selfish, _Four!_"

I feel tears heat roll down my cheeks "I-I want our relationship to go on, but not this way."

I try to get down off his arms, but he tightens his grip and doesn't let me go "Tris, I don't know what you're talking about," Tobias replies, a look of hurt on his face "I-I just-" I cut him off before he can finish his sentence "Put me down," I say as calmly as I can, and obediently he sets me on the floor again

"Tobias, honestly I think you need to stop it with this attitude. So please think about what I've said, and try to act accordingly." Our eyes lock for a second before I close the door and leave.

Christina's apartment is big, with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Naturally, she shares a bedroom with Will but she reserves an extra room to fill with dresses, skirts, pants, shoes, makeup..., which is where we are sitting now, getting ready for the party. When I got to her house, we talked a bit before having a light lunch. Now she's handing me a small, hot pink bag.

"For you to wear tonight," she says, smiling. I look at her confused "What do you mean? I already bought clothes yesterday!"

Christina giggles "No, this is for you to wear _under _that dress." I nod, understanding what she means, and take a peek inside the bag. I take out a matching pair of sexy black and red lace underwear and a push up bra and immediately give them back to Christina "Oh, no Christina I am _not _wearing that!" I say, almost laughing at her.

Christina pouts "But why not? I'm sure Tobias would appreciate it!" I feel my cheeks getting hot and red, and snatch the bag back. _Give it a try, _I think _You _are _trying to fix things with him, aren't you? _

_"_I'm trusting you, Chris!" I sigh. "Don't worry. You can count on me," she replies, smiling. I slip the the under wear into my bag.

I look at the purple clock in Christina's room and see that it's already 2:15 "We should start getting ready for dinner!" She squeals, hopping on the floor "The guys are going to be back here at 5:45, to drive us over to the restaurant, after all!". I nod vaguely, not understanding her enthusiasm.

Christina first applies her own makeup and dresses herself in a tight black dress with a sweetheart neckline . Then she went on to doing my makeup, simple as I asked for it-black eyeliner, eye shadow and mascara. I hate wearing makeup, hate the sticky feeling it gives my face, but I don't want to disappoint Christina even more with my un-femininity.

I put on the underwear and push up bra that Christina gave me, the bra magically making my breasts seem twice as big. Then I slipped on the heels, which I was able to somehow walk in. "Yeah, you need practice in those," Christina says, shaking her head "Just wear them for the rest of the afternoon, so that when we go to dinner you'll be more prepared." I smile back, trying to match her excitement.

When we're ready, we just sit around and talk some more, discussing our new lives in the city.

"How far have you and Tobias gone?!" Christina asks, "Christina!" I snap at her sternly, my cheeks getting red "That's none of your business!" I huff, crossing my arms and sticking my tongue out. Christina rolls her eyes "Fine..." The hours go by, and finally its 5:30.

"They should be here any moment now..." Christina says. My mind is swarming with a thousand thoughts about today's dinner and my argument with Tobias. _How is he going to act? Is he mad at me? _I start to regret what I told him earlier, guilt gnawing its way inside of me. _All he's done is love me, and I return that by yelling at him and calling him selfish._ I promise myself I'll apologize tonight, although a part of me still believes what I told him.

Just as I was thinking of him, Tobias and Will step inside Christina's apartment. Tobias is wearing a faded blue plaid shirt, a leather jacket, black jeans and converse. As soon as he sees me a smile begins to creep up on his face, but is soon gone, like he thought better about smiling at me. I gulp_ this is your fault _I think to myself.

Christina, Tobias and I all get into Will's car, sitting in the back seats. I sit in the middle, squeezed between Tobias and Christina, and lean into Tobias, hoping that he'll notice. Thankfully he does, since he places his hand on my bare knee and moves his thumb in a slow, circular motion. I put my hand on top of his to show my approval, that it's okay.

When we get to the restaurant, Tobias steps out of the car first, and holds his hand out for me to reach and help me out of the car, even though he knows I'm perfectly capable of doing so myself. I gladly take it anyway, smiling.

The restaurant is buzzing with people, couples and families enjoying dinner. I think Tobias might have seen a couple of men looking at me, because he wraps his arms around my waist protectively, glaring around the room. I giggle a bit at his jealousy _He cares about me_ I think guiltily "Don't worry, I'm all yours" I assure him, trying to close the emotional gap between us from our argument earlier. He grins and whispers in my ear "You look good, Tris." Just like he did during initiation in Dauntless.

At the table, Tobias sits next to me and Will and Christina sit across from us. We order lamb chops and salad to share. I devour my food hungrily, a little faster than I expected. Tobias has been acting distant the whole night, and since I know this is my fault, I decide to do something about it. Without a doubt, I slip my hand under the table and lace Tobias' long, delicate finger in mine. A smile curls up on his face, and he glances at me for a split second.


	2. Chapter 2

After we finish dinner, its only 8:00, so we decide to go to Christina's house for a game of Candor or Dauntless, which the people from Chicago call 'Truth or Dare'.

Will is talking on the phone, apparently inviting Zeke, Shauna, Uriah, Lynn and Marlene to join us for Candor or Dauntless. "Our friends are coming, so if I were you I would stop bickering and focus on getting on as many layers of clothing as you can-you know the rules to the game!" he says, raising his hands up in the air.

I glance down and realize that I'm only wearing a dress-so if I refuse a dare or a truth question I'll end up in only my bra and underwear _Darn it! _I think, frowning. "I'll give you my sweater," I hear Tobias whisper in my ear as he places his black leather jacket on my shoulders. The jacket droops down, considering that Tobias is much larger than I am, and my structure is very narrow. "Here," Tobias says, slipping my arms into the sleeves and rolling them up gently, his long delicate fingers brushing my skin.

"Thanks," I say, looking into the depths of his sea blue eyes.

"Okay you lovebirds, are we going to play or what?" I hear Lynn yell from across the room, and realize that everyone is already sitting down in a circle on the floor. I feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment and walk over to the circle, sitting down beside Tobias.

"Okay!" Zeke says, rubbing his hands together excitedly "I'll start: Christina, Candor or Dauntless?"

Christina narrows her eyes at Zeke "Dauntless," she says cautiously. "I dare you to tell us your worst fear" he says, waggling his eyebrows. Christina purses her lips and thinks for a second before swiftly removing her dress, leaving her in only a bra and underwear. Will looks at her body intently, and for a second I'm afraid that Tobias is too. I glance at him and am relieved to see that he's looking at the floor. Christina snaps in Will's face, and eagerly changes the subject. "Tobias, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless," Tobias answers quietly in his low, menacing instructor voice-but I know that he is afraid that any 'Truth' question might end up in him having to reveal his painful childhood.

"Alrighty then. I dare you to let Tris sit on your lap for the rest of this game." She says mischievously. "Do _I_get a say on this?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. "Of course not," Tobias replies, patting his lap for me to sit on. I get up and walk over to Tobias, and sit on his lap, shifting around to find a comfortable position. Tobias's hands enclose around my hips, stilling me.

"Will, truth or dare?" I ask. "Truth!" he replies immediately, clearly afraid of the dare I would come up with to get revenge on Christina. "Have you done any _addition_with Christina yet?" I ask, using an old joke of Christina's, and tilting my head to the side innocently and smiling.

Will's face reddens, and he removes his jacket ungracefully, throwing it on the couch "Uriah, Cand-" he is cut off by Uriah, who excitedly responds "Dauntless, obviously!" pounding his fists on the floor. "I dare you to kiss Marlene passionately right here, in front of all of us," Will says.

Uriah takes action without a doubt, scooting over next to Marlene and running his fingers through her hair while kissing her. They went on and for what seemed like an eternity to me, who hates PA, the kiss getting deeper and deeper. "Okay that's enough!" I shout without thinking.

They abruptly stop kissing, and everyone is staring at me "Once a stiff, always a stiff!" Zeke says shaking his head. I look down, embarrassed, until Uriah's voice brings me back to reality "Shauna, candor or dauntless?" he asks.

"Dauntless!" she replies. "Then…go on a romantic dinner with Zeke tonight!" he shouts, excited. "What type of dare is that, you pansycake?" Zeke questions his brother, "We _want_to go on a date, right Shauna?" he asks, smiling lovingly at his girlfriend. "Of course," she says, wheeling her wheelchair over to him and giving him a big bear hug.

Shauna sits up straight and asks her sister "Lynn, Candor or Dauntless?". "Candor," she replies with a voice of boredom. "What guy do you like?" her sister asks, clearly eager to find out her sister's love. "No one!" Lynn scowls "Boyfriends are a waste of time, I'm perfectly fine alone!" she crosses her arms and sticks her tongue out at her older sister.

"Tris, Candor or Dauntless?" Lynn asks, her expression still bored. "Dauntless," I answer, slightly nervous for Lynn's dares. "Alrighty then. I dare you to go out on the street and make out with the first guy you see" She says plainly. I feel Tobias's muscles tense under mine, and it pains me to think that he would consider the possibility of me making out with someone else.

In a swift motion, I remove my dress and am left in my underwear. I'm not too worried until I remember that I am wearing the revealing black and red lace push up bra and underwear that Christina made me wear. The underwear barely cover my butt. Tobias must have noticed that I feel uncomfortable, because he covers my body all he can with his arms, protectively wrapped around me from the gazes of the other men in the room. The touch of his hands on my bare skin send a shiver through my spine, but also a wanting for him. His hands feel cool on my warm skin.

"Uh-Zeke, Candor or Dauntless?" I ask, eager to divert the attention from me. "Candor, I don't want to end up dead, thank you!" he replies. "Okay then, uh, what do you miss most about the factions?" I ask, knowing that it isn't the best question.

"Dauntless chocolate cake, duh!" he replies, laughing "And the tattoo parlor, the chasm…sometimes I just feel like I'll never really fit in here, you know? I miss the Dauntless way of life, home." He looks down at the floor, confused by his own words. "It's hard," Shauna sighs, leaning closer to Zeke "But it's what we have, so why not make the best of it?" she says, forcing a smile.

"Are we going to go back to the game, or what?" Lynn asks, staring at Zeke.

"I'm kind of tired," Tobias yawns "Tris and I are going to go home now, but thanks for inviting us over! We had a great time," he takes my dress and slips it over my head, then takes my arms through the sleeves and pulls the rest down. He lifts me off his lap, helping me up before getting up and holding my hand. Stunned, I wave goodbye to Christina before following Tobias out of the apartment.

"Why did you leave so all-of-a-sudden?" I ask, frowning "Couldn't consult with me first?" I'm certainly not angry, just curious about Tobias's sudden actions.

"I-I'm sorry Tris, I just want to spend some time with you alone, and that game was going to go on forever, so I thought it was good moment to leave." He looks up at me, a worried look on his face "Don't apologize, I understand. I want to spend some time together, too, you know." I smile and peck him a kiss on the cheek. "Some time for affection," I whisper in his ear, not needing to stand on my tiptoes since the heels make me almost as tall as him.

"Then what are we waiting for?" he asks cheerily. Grinning, he wraps an arm around my legs and the other around my shoulders, carrying me effortlessly. We ride up to the fourth floor on the elevator, and then walk over to apartment '4T'. Tobias struggles to grab his keys and carry me at the same time, so I carefully take the keys from the front pocket of his jeans, and open the door.


	3. Chapter 3

_Tobias POV_

I wake up to the sound of water running in the shower. Last night after the game of Candor or Dauntless, Tris and I spent the rest of the night chatting and kissing in bed. Eventually we fell asleep in each other's arms.

The spot next to me on the bed is cold, meaning that Tris is probably showering. Swiftly I get out of bed and tip toe to the bathroom, quietly opening the door. Luckily, Tris is humming and the sound of the shower water is loud enough for me to go unnoticed as I steal Tris's towel and close the door back again. Grinning, I climb back into bed and allow myself some time to relax before Tris realizes that her towel is missing.

Just as I'm falling asleep, I hear Tris's voice call me from the bathroom "Tobias, can you bring me a towel?" she asks, still not realizing my prank on her. "Nope!" I reply, popping the p "Come get it over here, in bed with me!" I shout back. "Tobias!" she calls again, this time a note of anger in her voice "Please bring me a towel?" I smile wickedly "You heard me, Beatrice-come get your towel right now!" I say, mockingly angry.

After a few seconds, I hear the click of a door open, and see that Tris is peeking out of the bathroom, conscious that anyone will see her naked body. "Oh, c'mon Tris-you have nothing to hide from me, beautiful" I say in a gentler tone, afraid that I may have hurt her "I have your towel," I say, holding it up in my hand, teasing.

Shyly, she walks over to the bed, covering her breasts with her arms and slightly hunching. I sit up on the bed. She reaches for the towel in my hands, but I hold it just above her reach. "How about morning kiss to your boyfriend first?" I ask in my rough instructor voice. She pouts for a moment but soon smashes her lips to mine without a doubt, encircling my neck with her arms. I slide my fingers into her hair, pulling her face closer to mine.

One hand still on her face, I slip the towel around her body, securing it at the end so it doesn't fall off. She sighs, grateful, and gazes into my eyes before pecking a quick kiss on my forehead. "I should get dressed," she says, taking her hands away from my neck and stepping away. "Not so quick, Beatrice" I say and lift her up by the waist, placing her on my lap. She tries to get off, but I secure my hands around her waist, stilling her. "Tobias…" she scolds. I silence her words with a fervent kiss, which she responds eagerly to.

I lay back onto the bed, bringing her down with me. She slips her hands under the hem of my dark grey shirt, pulling it over my head. I smile to myself as she climbs her hands up my back and around my neck. Slowly, I pull the towel off her body and let it fall to the ground _much better, _I think to myself. "Tobias," she moans between kissing as I allow my hands to caress her breasts "I-I love you!" she tells me.

For the hundredth time in the morning, I smile, but this time I tell her "I love you, too", placing a hot kiss between her breasts. She moans again, making me get an instant erection. _I'm going to lose my self-control any second now…_I think as Tris pulls off my boxers. Then, without a notice, Tris wraps her hands around my member, and a mix of a gasp of surprise and a moan of pleasure escape me. She rubs her hands against it back and forth, massaging it at different speeds. "Oh-t-tris," I moan, delighted. I lean down and nibble on her left nipple, grasping the other with my hand. She moans, too, and massages my member faster.

Then she does another shocking-yet amazing-thing. Tris leans down, under the covers and puts her mouth around my member. I moan with pleasure, tugging her hair encouragingly as she swirls her tongue around it. Uncontrollably, I thrust it into her mouth, deep into her throat. Guilt consumes me as I realize that she didn't do anything to stop me when my member went deeper into her throat, and how uncomfortable that must feel.

Tris continues massaging my member with her mouth, her hands around hips. "God, Tris," I gasp between moans "You're amazing at this!" Ecstasy replaces any of the remnant doubts I had about this as I feel my member throb with pleasure "T-tris it's coming," I warm her "You won't like it, I understand if you want to stop". To my surprise and enjoyment, she doesn't stop, responding by stimulating me even more with her mouth.

_Tris POV_

A salty-sweet warm liquid fills my mouth as I stroke Tobias's member with my tongue. For a second I am confused, unsure of what to do. Christina once told me that she never swallowed, finding the liquid nauseating and gross-and that most girls didn't anyway. This isn't exactly _disgusting_, as she described it to be, and I honestly don't mind it.

While I'm still deciding what to do, the liquid is quickly engulfing my mouth. Without a second doubt, I swallow and continue caressing Tobias, sucking at different speeds. "Oh-Tris," Tobias murmurs, pulling me up from under the covers and holding me next to him. I smile, and feel my lips are swollen, but I don't care. He pulls me into his arms, hugging me.

His gaze is thoughtful and loving, looking at me like I am the only thing _worth _looking at, like we are worth each other. And we are. I know we are. He has always respected me, trusted me with all his burdens and his fears. He has believed in me, insisted that I am strong and brave. In that moment I know that all the doubts I had about our relationship earlier aren't true, and that we _are _fit for each other-that we are _right _for each other. And I know that all of those doubts aren't true because he _cares _about me, all his actions were rooted from love.

In that moment, I lean over and kiss him. But this kiss isn't the desperate kind that comes from sexual desire-it is one that can only come from true love.


	4. Chapter 4

_Tobias POV _

Tris's soft, pale skin feels warm beneath my fingers. My arms are tightly wrapped around her thin, strong body. I feel her ribcage rise and fall with each breath she takes, her expression placid as she sleeps. Frowning, I slightly lift my head off the pillow and see that although the covers cover our bodies, our clothes are strewn over the bed and on the floor. I manage to find my boxers and jeans next to the bed. I peek under the covers and realize that Tris, as much as I, isn't wearing any clothes. Partially pulling the covers down with me, I slide off the bed in search for her clothes.

Although she doesn't like to recognize it, I know that her fear of intimacy is still there, despite being with me for a while now. She always tries her best to ignore it, and never complains of any of my actions, yet sometimes I feel I am pushing her too far, demanding too much.

To make matters worse, I find Tris's bra, ripped buried under some blankets that must've fallen off the bed at night. Hot blush-blood rushes to my cheeks in embaressment _What did I do? _I wonder, frightened and excited as memories flow into my mind from last night _It was great, _I recall _We were in love. We _are _in love. _Picking up and organizing blankets from the floor, I find Tris's dress, her panties and my shirt in the tangle of fabrics. I throw it all in the wash and grab fresh underwear for Tris and a clean dark blue shirt of mine.

Just as I slip back into bed, Tris's eyes flutter open. She, like I did, frowns in confusion for a second, staring at her naked body. But then her eyes move up to me, and all the doubts she seemed to have vanish to be replaced by a smile. "Good morning, Beatrice" I whisper roughly, smiling.

She leans in and pecks a kiss on my cheek "I always loved that low, rough voice you used as an instructor," she tells me. I feel myself get red with embarassment, but a grin creeps up onto my face before I can stop it. As an instructor in dauntless, I developed a low voice, meant to sound cruel and menacing to the initiates-not seductive. "Don't be embarassed," she reassures and kisses me again, on the lips this time "I still do, actually."

We stay like this for a while, staring into each other's eyes, smiling-in love.

After a while-more than is socially acceptable-Tris breaks the silence. "I, uh, should get dressed" she says, sitting up on the bed. "I got it," I say, handing her the underwear I picked earlier for her. "Thanks," she says, taking the clothes from me an glancing down at them before putting them on

"Seriously, Tobias?" she asks, laughing "You had to pick _these_?" she questions me, referring to the tight, lacey push up bra I picked out and the matching thong. "They look nice on you, Tris!" I exclaim, a bit embarassed by my earlier decisions. "These barely cover me!" she complains, mockingly angry. "I don't mind that," I reply, leaning in close, my lips brushing her ear. "Of course _you _don't," she sighs, looking up at me. "Oh, c'mon just put them on, Tris" I tell her, kissing her neck hard.

"I will, I will-anything for my boyfriend!" she rolls her eyes and puts on the underwear. She looks around the bed, probably searching for a shirt or pants "Here," I say handing her my blue shirt. She pulls the shirt over her head, and it hangs loosely on her body, right below her butt "Thanks," she says and hops off the bed.

"Tris?" I call after her. "Yes?" she responds, turning around in the middle of a step. "It's been one year since we're living in Chicago," I tell her, my smile fading. "You mean today marks the anniversary of us living here?" she asks, a look of sorrow on her face "It's been so long, yet it feels like we came here yesterday…" she takes a deep breath and sighs.

Turning her direction, she walks back towards me rather than the kitchen. "I-I…" tears fill her eyes, and I know she is remembering all the deaths-of her parents, her brother, Will, Uriah-that occurred one year ago. "I know," I reply. She climbs onto my lap and buries her face in my shoulder. I wrap my arms strongly around her, embracing her in a hug. "Hey," I whisper to her "We have each other." She slowly lifts her head up to look at me. A small smile creeps onto my face. "I love you, Tobias Eaton," she whispers, placing a kiss on my lips."I love you, too, Beatrice" I kiss her back lightly. Tris snuggled on my lap, my arms wrapped around small body, we console each other in the only way that helps-wordlessly.


End file.
